Feeling pumped up and let down!

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

Why let down?

I didn’t do a post last week as I felt disheartened that nobody was reading any of my posts because they were no good, I had nil comments and anyone who had viewed my site gave up at my profile. It also  seemed any visitors to the blog came  from Brazil or any other country but my own!

I suppose I have to conclude that something different is required rather than my  ramblings on ageing…..but damn it …. I am not going to give up just yet ……I may just find a winning formula before the year is out!

Why pumped up?

I am feeling pumped up about my medical check this week.  You know the one, where you get to a certain age, they call you in and then they frighten you by telling you that you are at risk of a heart attack now you have reached this age. I won’t lie , I have been rather careful with my diet in preparation for this check up.  I was nervous of my weight, I am not plump but it seems you don’t have to be according to their criteria.  I thought my cholesterol would be high, everyone else has high cholesterol in the family and they would take me down the Statins route. ( I  hate taking tablets) Finally all three brothers have mid life diabetes …perhaps I now have too!

Well I am proud to announce my weight is okay …..alright if I put on two kilo I am over what they consider to be healthy.  That is not a lot of scope for any indulgence! My cholesterol is fine and I do NOT have diabetes which has made me feel rather superior over my siblings……and wait for it I have the blood pressure of a younger woman!   I feel very slightly reborn, as if there is still hope, I am not decrepit yet!!

I am now reading the ageless Body by Peta Bee and Dr Sarah Schenker ( very good) as now I am deemed relatively healthy  I must build on it!!  I actually do walk but could do more , I practise yoga and I do try to eat well although my willpower is not always as good as it might be…….but there is no room for complacency only improvement.   I feel motivated right now to be the best ageing person I can be! Without our health we are nothing so it has to be worth working at…..the new eating regime and walk every day starts tomorrow!

 

 

Lady with the purple hat and not so bad body after all.

 

 

 

 

 

Where did giggling Gertie go?

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

I was emailing a friend today and it got me thinking!  We both met when we were about 50 years of age.  We were doing the same course, we were both nervous, and about the oldest attending so we naturally formed a friendship.  We were rather similar in that we were not that keen  on “being told” and I ashamed to say we did a fair amount of giggling and rebelling against an odd issue or two!

I reminded her of this today and became very worried that I as I am getting older I am getting way too serious. I am writing about ageing in this blog, I refer to that lovely poem by Jenny Joseph” When I am old I will wear a purple hat” as I love this poem and the idea that when we get to a certain we just don’t care and can be outrageous if we like!  For those of you who read last weeks blog  you will know that unfortunately I DO seem to care about who I am, what I am and what I look like, which could be my problem so I had better start walking my poem!

I need to sharpen my act …….I love a good laugh , I definately revel in the ridiculous and I still want to feel a sense of wonder and playfulness from time to time!  After I had written my blog last week, I read a piece saying how we take ourselves too seriously, that brought me up short …..rambling on about lack of confidence , retiring , what I looked like.  I need to start realising life is just a game and I need to surf the waves of change and keeps things light and fun!

I need to giggle, still be my silly self , my grandchildren call me nincompoop …..that’s a good start! I have to admit grandchildren are a great source of liberating the child in you. You can enjoy all sorts of games with them, acting the fool to make them laugh, join them on the soft play slides, sneak  a quick swing at the playground, chase them knowing you have no chance of keeping up but enjoy the trying!

If we are not careful this playful self begins to lay buried beneath all of life’s responsibilities , tribulations and negative mind stuff and ceases to come out to play. It has always been a great sadness to me that the lack of inhibition, sense of fun and wonder we had as children doesn’t stay with us for very long at all. Some people do seem to maintain a joyful character and love of life.  My dear Dad was one such person, I should strive to be the same in his memory.  So I shall attempt to lighten up and  next time someone asks me to do something a bit risky, foolish or silly …..I shall go for it! I shall build some fun into my weeks and stop taking myself  and life too seriously.

Are you as playful as you would like to be?  I reckon we can be as silly as we like  …we are grown up, we don’t have to ask anyone’s permission!

PS Laughing is good for mental health and tummy muscles!

 

lady with the purple hat

 

Are you comfortable in your own skin as you grow older?

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

“I look forward to being older, what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point”  Susan Sarandon

I look at this quote and If I am honest it makes me feel extremely inadequate! I admire the sentiment that WHO we are is key and a beautiful soul shines through allowing our looks to become irrelevant as we age

I have read  other similar articles  with regard to feeling more relaxed and at home with yourself as you become older. Just not caring what others think anymore must be very liberating BUT IT HASN’T happened to me!!! Equally not caring what you look like ……..are you kidding!!!!

I am very unsure even now of who I am, I seem to be still searching for the authentic me! Perhaps this is due to the fact I have spent a lot of time being all things to all people! It seems retiring has just made things worse! Retirement has produced a new lack of confidence, a longing  to be useful again, a desire to be still in with the swim of life, to feel some satisfaction in what I do. I miss the social interaction and being useful. I know that I need to build a different set of interests and passions in my retirement and it is up to me how interesting and fulfilling my life develops now….I am trying!

As for not caring what I look like …..please…..how hard is that! I have to accept the way I look in the mirror, I can not be young forever and that is that. However it is a terrible shock at times to wonder who that person is looking back at me! I miss the old me!  This search for eternal youth has a lot to answer for as society abandons the idea of acceptance and ageing looks.

I wrote in a previous blog how important it is to watch our thoughts and develop a positive frame of mind to stop sinking into some old age malaise. Certainly my thoughts and feelings at times slip into negative mode when I am unable to feel comfortable and relaxed with my ageing process.  How superficial and trivial this behaviour seems  when I think of the people who are living with trauma,  grief, fear and pain every day.

However I want to be honest and to pretend that I am the perfect contented older  woman, sure of myself and my looks sitting comfortably in my own skin would be a falsehood. I rise above all this inadequacy much of the time but it sits on my shoulder a lot. Have you felt or feel similar? I like to think we are all a little bit vulnerable underneath the bravado!

Are you feeling more liberated as you age? How have you achieved this? Or are you in the bemused and confused camp! Do let me know….we silver surfers are in this together!

Lady with the purple hat ( I have frizzy hair too)

Letting go is hard to do.

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

I am writing my blog this week from Portugal.  Roughly 30 years ago I bought a tiny fishermans cottage on the Algarve. It was a dear little place , sun streamed onto a small top terrace which overlooked he sea. At night I could see all the fishing boats lit up on the ocean. I could hear the sea as I lay in bed at night. My children , my parents, friends and family had so much fun enjoying this tiny place .  So many happy memories that when I sold it, it needed modernising which I couldn’t afford, it nearly broke my heart.  Suffice to say it was the right thing to do at the time but I have never really fully let it go.

So here I am back in dear Portugal, in the same area which as you can imagine has changed beyond recognition and is no longer the charming unspoilt place it was.  I just can’t quite get it out of my system. When  I was younger I never used to look back , I seldom revisited anywhere in case it wasn’t the same and spoilt my memories

Is this another sign of ageing this need to reminisce, and wallow in past memories? To play safe and cling to the familiar? I am actually having a good time  here , it has brought back happy memories but at the same time, the place is not the same and neither am I. There is this little voice in my head that says it is time to move on. I am only too aware there is so much to see and do that lies unexplored and waiting and the clock is ticking!

Ideally we must always be grateful for our happy times and yet keep our feet planted firmly in the present for this is all we have and our living can only be done from the here and now! We must keep our minds fresh and open to new possibilities and be brave enough to let the past go, be glad for what has gone and look for pastures new.

Lady with the purple hat

As you think so you become!

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

Well I am feeling much more perky and positive! I like New year, a clean page, another chance to get it right and  new possibilities ….we just have to make them happen!

My message is simple today

“AS WE THINK SO WE BECOME”

Swami Satchidananda

As we get older we tend to start to obsess over our age, I know I do!  The trouble with this is that we start to ”  think old” and as a result that is exactly what we become.  We limit ourselves through our thinking.

I realise that there are certain things that are no longer possible or wise to embark on as we age but we forget to remember there  are still so many challenges and possibilities within our reach if we keep a positive frame of mind.

We musn’t forget to follow our passions, stay curious and maintain a sense of adventure. .By keeping an active mind , we are likely to be more active physically too , fending off a host of  age related conditions.

Let’s go for it in 2016 ….life is not just for the young …..

So watch those thoughts…..it’s  a good game. We set our own limitations through wrong thinking…..let’s try to develop healthy, positive thoughts to create the best version of our lives………and forget that number ….that is all it is!

lady with the purple hat

 

 

Now I am sixty- five

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

Happy New year!  Lets hope it is a good one for us all!

Well Here I am starting this blog. In truth I have been thinking about it for some time. I am hoping to procrastinate  less in 2016!

I called it the “ageing game” as I am now sixty- five, retired, at times bored and don’t always find the ageing process easy or kind.

I thought I could vent all my frustrations, thoughts, feelings and ideas about getting old here on this page. Perhaps I could strike a chord with others at this stage in their lives!

I find it hard not to be busy now that I am retired, so it is a small and I hope cathartic project.  If no- one ever reads it…..does it matter …..if it gets things off my mind.  I shall really know I am a boring old f..t when I get no response at all!

So far I have had a moan about my elderly mother, how worrying and exhausting caring for her can be. Admittedly not a particularly uplifting read but nevertheless a real part of life. I want to be able to be totally truthful writing this blog.

Join me on my journey through my 65th year. I am sure I can  cover a whole year about “the getting old process” without blinking!!

lady with the purple hat x

 

 

 

Elderly parents and christmas

Posted on by Lady with purple hat

Yes I am lucky to have my parents live to such a ripe old age.  I try to remind myself of this daily as I have to confess I don’t find  a lot of the situations it involves very easy.

I am left with my Mum all alone after 74 years of marriage. I live two hours away and it all weighs rather heavily on me. I seem to continually  worry about her  I make a weekly two day visit to be with her and give her support.

Then there is this Christmas when my partner and I spent Xmas lunch with our respective Mums of 94 and 99 years old! Neither of them can hear or carry on a conversation easily, all the food is too much for them, they constantly find fault when things are not as they used to be and at times look both bewildered and exhausted with it all. It is SO hard to remain upbeat, and tolerant, patient and cheerful. Of course we love them but we need uplifting too! The trouble is they constantly remind us of where we are going and sometimes it seems hard to rise above this.

I realise this makes me  sound a real miserable so and so but believe me I love my mother dearly and will be devastated when she passes on but in the meantime how do I remain patient, loving, cheerful and less anxious? To be honest I feel drained and exhausted!

So what’s the answer?

I suppose to fill my life , when I can , with things I enjoy which will make me feel as if I am living a little! To try and keep a sense of humour, I have to admit there have been some very comical moments!  I think it will help if I stop feeling guilty and realise that I am not perfect and can’t always be as patient as I feel I should be.  To remember to be  grateful, forever thoughtful that there are   those  of you that would do anything to have their Mum and Dad with them right now.

Keep  things in perspective I guess!

lady with the purple hat

PS must go as I have left my mum alone in the lounge while I am writing this!!!

PPS love to all of you with aged parents, we owe them so much after all

 

lady with the purple hat X